Hello and welcome to the JEMcast on Hologram Radio. This is Alex Knight and I am joined Aleen Simms, founder of the Less Than Or Equal podcast, and science fiction writer, K. Tempest Bradford.
Synopsis: In Season 3, episode 7: “‘The Day the Music Died,’ Jem and The Holograms,Jem is led away from her responsibilities by Riot on a cruise. When the rest of The Holograms are unable to pay Starlight Music’s debt, The Misfits buy out both Starlight Music and Stingers Sound, forcing the Holograms and The Stingers to submit to the Misfits’ control. This makes the Misfits into a mega group, ruling the airwaves. Rio, The Holograms and The Stingers have to find Riot and Jem fast, in order to get their lives back to normal.”
Stay tuned for an action packed episode.
Episode 60 (S3E7) is written by Roger Slifer.
This week’s show notes are written by K. Tempest Bradford.
We open with the theme song, as always, but about halfway through Kimber’s voice yells STOP and the theme winds down like an old movie reel. There isn’t going to be a story today, Kimber informs us, because Jerrica is gone and so is Jem. Also, Kimber is wearing an outfit we haven’t seen since that time she started having lesbian sex with Stormer. Something is up.
Uh oh, she says that Jem and the Holograms will never play again.
It all started 3 months ago. This episode is full of flashbacks and the characters talking directly to the audience.
Kimber starts us off. Jerrica is doing her typically terrible job of being CEO of Starlight Music. She’s fighting with Shana and Rio, snapping Kimber’s head off, screaming at the staff, and in general not being managerial material.
Kimber continues to blame herself for not seeing how stressed Jerrica was. She relates how, at a concert later, Jem is continuing with her I’m Stressed And I’m Going To Take It Out On Everyone schtick. She’s mad at Rio because his van broke down and he can’t set up the concert. Jem proceeds to try and do so herself, attempting to lift a giant speaker that’s twice as wide and as tall as she is. And she’s trying to do this in heels.
The other Holograms help out—because for some reason they can only afford one roadie—and whisper to each other about how stressed Jem is and how they are worried.
Kimber’s reminiscing is interrupted by Pizzazz, who calls her a “Holo-twerp” and tells her to come on, they have work to do.
We switch to Reya, who is hanging out at the concert venue, reminiscing. She’s wearing a slightly more than usual ugly outfit. She says joining the Holograms was the happiest day of her life, but didn’t realize her happiness would be over so quickly.
She flashes back to the concert, which was apparently a double header since the Stingers are playing, too. Everyone in the audience is enchanted by Riot, including Jem.
The Stingers music video: “Under my spell.”
While singing, Riot pulls Jem on stage and does everything short of making out with her. Then immediately after, he grabs her, runs out of the building into a limo and is gone before anyone really understands what’s happening. This is bad. But, Reya warns us, it’s about to get worse.
Back in the present, Roxy rolls up in the Rockin’ Roadster and yells at Reya that there’s work to be done.
We switch to Riot, who is wearing some kind of Tarzan outfit and laughing. In a jungle. While Jem lounges in a hammock nearby.
What is going on??
Riot is his typical jolly self, laughing and also addressing the audience.
“This is great. No Rio. No Holograms. I have Jem all to myself.”
He tells us that he got what he wanted, as usual, and relates what happened after he whisked Jem away from the concert.
Turns out he took her to the docks, where cruise ship awaited. The ship was bound for Mexico, and he brings Jem on it because she needs to get away from it all for a bit. Jem objects, saying she has responsibilities. Riot tells her that doesn’t matter and, anyway, the boat has set sail.
Jem, for some reason, is not upset about this. She decides she dos need to get away from it all for a while. She seems to have no cognizance that all of this was way to neatly orchestrated and that riot has essentially kidnapped her.
Over the next few days, Riot and Jem enjoy shipboard activities, such as eating food and winning at roulette. Jem says she feels they’re the only two people in the world. According to Riot, they are.
Jem says this is what she needed, some rest and relaxation, but she can’t wait to get back to her sister (Jem stop giving away your secrets) and friends. Riot tells her that she doesn’t need any of those people, they only need each other.
Riot is a classic abuser, just so you know.
We switch to Aja, who is wearing the most unfortunate outfit of her career. She says they expected Jem to return in a few days, but she didn’t. Without her, there could be no new records, no new income. And then things got super bad.
In a flashback, creditors are beating down Kimber’s door at the office. She escapes out the window to Aja’s office. Aja dashes Kimber’s hopes of Jerrica returning soon by showing her a postcard that has just arrived. It claims to be from Jem and says she’s totally in love with Riot and has decided to stay with him forever and won’t be coming back and oh, by the way, tell Rio he’ll have a special place in her heart.
For some reason, everyone takes this at face value. Aja collapses, Kimber flips out, and no one thinks: this makes zero sense, even for Jem.
Back in the present, Aja says this marked the beginning of the end, and we see a rehearsal room where the Holograms, Minx, Rapture, and the Misfits are all about to play. Pizzazz says, “Okay, Misfits, let’s hit it!”
They are all Misfits now!
Now we get Pizzazz’s side of the story. She’s sitting in Jerrica’s office, joyful and triumphant. She’s done what Eric couldn’t: get Starlight Music for her own and humble the Holograms.
Without Jem and Riot, their bands dropped off the charts. The Misfits were the only band making music, and Eric couldn’t do anything but record and publicize them on Pizzazz’s terms. They made a bunch of money and ruled the charts.
This wasn’t enough, though. Knowing that Starlight Music was in trouble, she had her father make a bid for the company. In bankruptcy court, a judge says that they owe too much money and either they sell to Gabor or they sell all the company’s assets, which includes the mansion. The Starlight Girls will be sent away to other foster homes.
Feeling like she has no choice, Kimber agrees to sell to Harvey. Now Pizzazz owns the music company, the foundation, the mansion, and 15 pre-teen girls.
Because the Holograms and the Stingers were all still under contract, Pizzazz forces them to all become Misfits and they form a Mega band, which is now at the…
Misfits music video: “Top of the Charts.”
Back in the jungle, Jem is picking fruit and Riot is building a hut. Riot tells us that this idyllic existence almost didn’t come to pass.
When the cruise ship pulls into port in Mexico, Jem is surprised that they are in Mexico (even though Riot told her where they were going) and also surprised that it had been 3 days. Apparently Jem either didn’t sleep, slept through most of it, or she doesn’t understand that when the sun comes up, goes down, then comes up again that this constitutes a “day.”
Sh flips out, saying she needs to get back. But calms herself when Riot insists she needs to see him water ski. This works.
While out water skiing, Riot asks Jem if she’s decided to be with him yet. She, once again, tells him she has a boyfriend. Riot says he’s better, faster, stronger than Rio. He’s too stupid to even know he was part of Riot’s “perfect plan” to get Jem away from him. Once he reveals this plan to Jem she is super angry and wants to go. Riot won’t let her. They struggle over the controls of the boat and crash into an island.
Though both were thrown from a high-speed vehicle, they’re fine. Riot tells the audience that it’s going to be perfect there.
In the present, Minx and rapture whine about how they miss Riot because he was everything to them. Minx is especially pissed because Rio does nothing but stare at Jem’s postcard all day. Minx finally tells him Jem didn’t even send that postcard. When the Holograms ask “Wha’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” Minx shows them the little R in a circle on the card. Riot is so egotistical that he can’t help but sign everything.
Only now do they all realize that, wherever Jem may be, she might not want to be there. So they run off to Mexico to find her.
Pizzazz is left behind and is about to be mad about it when the Starlight Girls inform her that she needs to buy them school clothes. After all these months, Pizzazz finally comes to realize that being a foster mom is more than just having cricket partners. There is so much money going to clothes and books and food. She doesn’t even know where to start.
Eric appears and agrees to help them. Once he’s spent days on the calculations, he tells the Misfits that Starlight Music is more in debt than before thanks to the money holes that are children.
In Mexico, Rio and the others trace Riot and jem to the place where they rented the boat. The guy who did the renting says the coast guard told him they were “lost at sea.” Yet the Coast Guard never did go look for them. Rio finds a cluster of small islands on a map that are near where Jem ad Riot were last seen. Everyone hops in boats to search.
Rio and Minx find the island where Jem and Riot are right away, but as they come upon the hut and hammocks and see Jem lounging as if she has no worries, Rio thinks that she does want to stay here after all. So he turns to go.
Minx is having none of this. She is not going back to work for Pizzazz. She announces herself, tells Jem where Rio is, and ruins everything for Riot.
Riot and Rio have their typical dick waving contest over Jem. She finally puts a stop to it saying she is not something to be fought over and will do as she choses. She chooses to go home.
This would be powerful except Jem could have gone home months ago and didn’t.
Back in the boat with the others, Jem is happy to be getting back. Rio stole the spark plug from the boat the Stingers are using, and Riot forces Minx and Rapture to row back to Mexico.
Back at the mansion, the Starlight Girls are making life miserable for Pizzazz. They’re acting out, being the worst small children in the history of it. When Jerrica storms in the door, insisting she will win back everything even if she has to go to the highest court in the land, Pizzazz surprises her by saying: I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK. TAKE THESE BAD-ASS
KIDS. TAKE THE MUSIC COMPANY, TOO. I’M FREE!
Eric makes a token effort at wanting to own Starlight Music, until he realizes it means owning small children protected by labor laws. They both run away and everything goes back to normal. Immediately.
Jem and the Holograms music video: “All’s Right With The World.”
Present: Alex Knight, Aleen Simms, K. Tempest Bradford.
- S3E7: “The Day the Music Died”
- “Under my spell”
- “Top of the Charts”
- “All’s Right With The World”
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